my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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