...so i touched it.
Say something about gay babies.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
