What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
