I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
