Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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