The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
