Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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