Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
i out mim tonsoeep
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