and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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