look no pants
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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