"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
