Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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