Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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