idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
