i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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