Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
