bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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