Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
