It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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