this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
