What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
