Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
