how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Your cock deserves a montage
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
