Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
