i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
