apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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