I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
