I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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