Screwed.edu
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
