Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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