He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
