I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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