I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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