Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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