i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
