Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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