the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
