Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
