But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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