Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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