i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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