I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
