It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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