Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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