Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
