If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
