every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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