I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize