it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize