we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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