her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
