everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
