Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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