Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
