She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
