it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just want to make out with him forever
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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