PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
