remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
