I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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