meet me or not, i'm out of control
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
