Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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