i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
