ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
