Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
