i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
