Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
